welkin gone wacky
by tails267
Summary: Mawk's underwear has gone missing, Flashed and Sibiline are having a tea party and Prince Poynt has catnip. This is Welkin gone wacky! Warning: Random.


**I felt like writing something random.**

**All characters copyright to Garry Kilworth**

"Where is my underwear?"

Mawk the doubter stroud up to a clearing where his weasel friends were having breakfast.

"Don't look at me, I got no idea," replied Scrif as he picked at a flea on his patchy pelt.

"Well I left them on the cloths line last night and now they're gone; they must have been stolen!" Mawk frew his arms up in the air in a dramatic manor. He had been acting very particular lately, his friends hoped he didn't have the mad weasels diseases.

Bryony looked up from her green salad and blinked her large brown eyes at the crazed mustelidae. "Are you sure the wind didn't just blow them off the line?"

"Who would want those old things anyway?" put in Wodehed.

Mawk was not keen on being insulted so shot back "They're in better condition than that old pouch you use to store your herbs!"

Wodehed looked down at the little pouch attached to his belt, "good point."

"Speaking of points, it must be Prince Poynt and his stoats who stole them. I'm going to march to the castle and get them back, who's with me?!"

The gathered weasels gave each other uncertain looks. Mawk would never go near the castle in which the prince hailed if he could help it.

"I'll go with you," said Scrif. In a lower voice he added, "don't worry you fur gang, I'll make sure he does nothin' stupid."

With heads held high and chests puffed out, the two friends struted across the countryside towards the majestic Castle Rhan.

Upon reaching the castle, much to Scrif's dismay, there were no boats around to take them across the wide mote.

"I guess we have to swim," surveyed Mawk as he placed a paw in the water about half a foot below him.

"Burrrrr, it's cold."

"Good luck with that, I hate water."

Scrif turned to leave but was stopped by Mawk making his 'kitten weasel' face, "pleeeeease Scrif."

"All right," Mawk began to jump up and down in celebration,"But you go first"

He stopped mid jump, "Nuaww, you go first."

"No you!"

"No you!"

"Stop shouting!"

"You stop shouting!"

"Oh, real machore!"

"Let's go at the same time."

"Done!"

Both jack weasels shook paws before preparing to jump.

"On the count of three," said Scrif.

"One...two...three!"

Mawk leapt in with a load splash while Scrif sat on the bank, chuckling to himself.

"Cold enough for you?"

Mawk had now resurfaced and had narrowed his eyes at the ex-dungwatcher. The cold and wet weasel swam over to Scrif and promptly, dragged him in by the tail. Knowing he had been defeated, Scrif stayed quite as they stroked over to the high arched entrance to the castle.

The two weasels, fur still damp, stepped through the grand doors. They were surprised that the entrance had been unlocked and there were no guards around to confront them. A bit unnerved, they filed through the castles well lit corridors. There seemed to be no one in the castle at all, no prince, princess, sheriff, guards or even servant weasels around, it was creepy for our seekers.

Now on the third floor of the building, sweet classical music filled the air around them.

"Makes me wanna barth," commented Scrif, who was not a fan of this music type, as they followed the sounds.

The music led to none other than princess Sibiline's bed room.

Eager to get some answers, Mawk burst in, only to be greeted by a sight he wasn't expecting.

Sibiline and sheriff Flashed were sitting at a fancy table covered in tiny plates of sandwiches and cakes. Each stoat had a dainty china cup in their paw.

"Welcome to my little party weasel, what brings you here?" asked Sibiline in her sweeter than honey voice.

"A better question is what is he doing here?" Mawk jabbed a claw at an awkward looking Flashed.

"That's none of yours weasel," she waved a delicate paw at Mawk then at Flashed, "Me and Flashy are just having a get together."

"Well Flashy, what have you done with my underwear? I know it's here!" Mawk began to route through one of Sibiline's draws in the corner of the room.

She let out a high pitched scream, "Spiney! Come get this urchin out of here!"

To answer her call Spinfur rushed in dressed in a black and white maid outfit.

Mawk looked up from what he was doing only to have Spinfur dive at him. Within a few seconds they were tussling on the floor.

Scrif chose this moment to come into the room and was met with a scene of chaos.

Mawk was fighting with a weasel in a maid costume, Sibiline was fussing at them to stop before they broke anything and Flashed was banging his head repeatedly on the table top.

While Scrif took all this in the squabbling pair were hurling insults at each other.

"junk eating punk!"

"stoat hearted idiot!"

"Mawk stop flirting with that lady, it's obvious they don't have what you're looking for." Scrif tried to stop Mawk but revived a thump on the head from Spinfur.

"Who are you calling a lady?!" Spinfur yelled as he continued to hit Scrif with a broom.

Sibiline was looking very irritated, "Do something Flashed!"

"Of coarse my princess I will-oof!" The sheriff of Welkin leapt from his chair and in doing so tripped over his own tail. Sibiline facepalmed and murmured under her breath "Jacks" before _gently_ getting to her feet, drawing a deep breath and yelling "Enough!" at the top of her lungs.

The jacks stopped what they were doing amediately.

Scrif had his arm pitched back ready to punch Spinfur's lights out, Mawk had the servant weasel's tail in his mouth while the pathetic bundle of fur that was Flashed looked up at his princess in awe.

"Now weasels, we have nothing you want here with us so would you kindly leave." Sibiline's voice was calm yet firm.

"Spinfur will escort you to the door, Flashed, clean up this mess, I'm going for a walk."

The soft furred stoat swished out of the room, leaving the jacks to it.

Spinfur sighed before getting off the ground and straitening out his maid dress.

"Follow me if you will." The three moved back towards the entrance but Mawk was not satisfied, he wanted to see the prince.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Spinfur looked bothered, "He's not been himself recently."

To prove this point, three kitchen weasels came screaming down the corridor being chased by Prince Poynt on a pogo stick.

"See what I mean? He ate this plant and now he acts like a rabbit on a sugar rush."

"Run little weasels! Fear my bounce wrath!"

Scrif studied the stoat carefully.

"That's catnip for ya, turns you brain into liquorice allsorts. Tried it once myself, never again, I can still smell swamp water on my pelt."

Spinfur gave the weasel a sidelong glance.

"Riiiight..."

Back at halfmoon wood, the outlaws were getting bombarded by dragon flies.

"Back off!" shouted Bryony as she took them out with a frying pan.

"Why are they here?" hissed Alyson.

In response to her question all the flies stopped in mid air and flew away. Wodehed came out from the trees looking stressed and holding a smoking black box.

"Sorry about that, my new flash box went wrong." He gave a guilty smile.

"Never mind, it didn't attract fire ants like last time," said Sylver as he checked his gang for inured. "You'll get it next time."

"What's up dudes?"

They all turned round to see a well muscled weasel in surfing shorts.

"Dredless! Aren't you dead?" Sylver practically had his jaw on the ground as he stared at his long dead friend. Dredless had been killed by a fox who fired an arrow through his heart, but here he was none the worst.

"I may be dead to you but I'm now living at cutclaw cove with the other dead weapon masters, it's radical! You'll have to visit some time." He made a heroic pose for his friends.

"Well, I better be getting back, later!" Dredless gave a wave behind his shoulder before disappearing into the forest. Everyone was just silent.

"What just happened?" was all that Luke could muster, his eyes as big as bird eggs.

Sylver shook his head, "I'm going to pretend I didn't see that."

Later on in the evening a gloomy Mawk and Scrif returned empty pawed.

"What happened at the castle?" Miniver asked Scrif as Mawk sat in a depressed silence.

"Well Spinfur is a maid, Flashed is a sissy and prince point is on catnip. Not muc- would you shut up Mawk!"

Every ten seconds Mawk would let out a long sigh and change his sitting position.

"I can't help it, I-" He was interrupted as soft giggling came from the tree above him where Alyson was on watch. She popped her head out of the leaves and beckoned for Mawk and Scrif to come up.

"You two may want to see this."

Scrif got there first and, as he looked through Alyson's binoculars, began to click his teeth at what he saw.

"What is it? What are you laughing at?" Scrif handed Mawk the binoculars and the distressed weasel almost fell out the tree.

There he saw his underwear, being used as a flag at the top of castle Rhan.

"Only you Mawk, this could only happen to someone like you!" guffawed Scrif.

Mawk wasn't listening, he had already ran down the tree out of embarrassment.

**This was so fun to write, I may right more Welkin weasel things.**

**Thanks for reading and please review.**


End file.
